On My Mind

She, confident…

                B.B. (my dear husband) and I were talking about the blog project last night- where I see it going, what I hope to accomplish etc. etc. and he was like “Ok, what’s with the name? Why ‘She-comma-confident?’  What does that mean?”

            It’s easy to read as “She Confident” like in the “Yeah GIRL she has a LOT of confidence- SHE CON-FI-DENT!” (I hope you read that with the same tone in your head as I did when I typed it.) That’s a really good statement and while it would make a great blog title, that’s not really what I mean.

                She, confident is the beginning of your new mantra. Or, at least it’s the beginning of mine.  It’s meant to be a fill in the blank situation to help me tackle anything head on with a belief in my skills, my voice, my strength, my heart – whatever confidence the situation warrants.

                Here’s a few examples:

  • She, confident in her abilities, set out to conquer the world.
  • She, confident in her endurance and strength, began training for the marathon.
  • She, confident in her voice, stood up for what she knew was the truth.
  • She, confident in her intuition, removed herself from a potentially dangerous situation.

One of my biggest obstacles in my quest for confidence is self-talk- that inner dialogue we have with ourselves day in and day out- even sometimes while we are asleep.  My “inner voice.”  I have become very aware of my inner voice sometime over the last year and have been making a conscious effort to move it from the doubt, fear, shame, and negativity that is so easy to fall into over to confidence, self-worth, loving kindness, and all of that good stuff.  I’m still so much a work in progress that I believe the stage I’m in right now is trying to hear the inner voice that is shouting the loudest!

Throughout the course of the day my inner voice may say things like “I have really no clue what I’m talking about- why would anyone be interested in what I have to say” and then replying “That’s not true! You have so much real-life experience!” and then later “Maybe I should have taken some college courses for business, or marketing, or SOMETHING to make my voice matter and be heard in the business world” and then “Girl, you have been an entrepreneur your entire adult life.  You own and run daily a skincare and cosmetics franchise that over the last 7 years has been responsible for over 4 million dollars in sales! That doesn’t happen by accident.” Add in all the stuff about parenting, health, marriage, and friendship- my head is a pretty noisy place to be.

Approaching every negative that pops up with a “She, confident” statement helps to flip my self-talk script, and I’m thinking it can help you too. 

We’ve all heard the term “Fake it til you make it!” and when it comes to confidence I truly believe we can make this work.  Yesterday I had a Facebook friend comment on a Glennon Doyle quote I shared about friends forming a horseshoe instead of a circle to be more inviting to outsiders.  She said that she had recently attended a yoga event solo and had felt like an outcast.  I feel ya, girl.  I like to refer to myself as an introverted extrovert, so I can totally see me in that situation.  Yes, I will go to the yoga event solo, but yes I will feel alienated and outcast while there because I won’t attempt to insert myself into a crowd that obviously already knows each other and are totally comfortable with each other.   While, ideally, everyone would already know Doyle’s horseshoe idea and we could just shout “HORSESHOE!!” when we felt excluded by a tight circle- that would probably just make us look like a weird-o.  What if, instead, we said through self-talk, “She, confident in her charisma, approached the yogis and started a conversation.” BAM! Half a dozen new yoga friends.

I’ve never been much of a writer, so I do hope this makes sense.  Wait, nevermind.  She, confident in her own voice, posted an amazing blog and inspired others to speak more confidence into their own lives.

Did this post speak to you? I’d love to hear how! Leave me a comment if you have a second- or even share this posts with your friends on social media.

Want to learn more about She, Confident? Check us out on Facebook

35 thoughts on “She, confident…

  1. Loving this new blog. I have now saved it in my favourites so I know where I need to come every few days, with my morning coffee to hear your voice. I say that because I read every post you make in your voice in my head. Have a great day!

  2. I love everything about this blog. The title gets stuck in your head, in a good way. Imagine if we all focused on flipping our fears and self-doubts into positive thoughts. She, confident she will have the best month ever, picks up the phone to call a new lead. Very powerful. I cannot wait to read the next one.

    1. Thanks Meg! Pick that phone up, lady! BME!

      Here’s mine for the day…She, confident she would have an awesome Sales Celebration has kinda been ass-ing off all morning. LOL!
      Back to work…

    2. This is great Mindy! I too have some negativity that goes on inside my head (about myself) , and a lot of self doubt when it comes to a lot of things ! I love reading what you write and I’m loving the She, Confident name . I hope to take tidbits from this, helps me be more confident in my own voice, so my daughter will be confident in hers !

  3. I love your infectious point of view and can’t wait to read more. Oh and I vote horseshoe at sales celebration ❤️

    P.S. I read this blog in your voice haha

  4. Emotional right now – my brain is screaming on the inside saying “This is you sister!” But on the outside – nothing. I can be in a crowd of 100 people that I know and feel like I’m floating in the middle of the ocean – by myself. I can never seem to find my voice or my confidence.

    1. Oh Kara! I know the feeling. Honestly. I think starting this blog and the Facebook group that’s coming will help us ALL realize that everyone sometimes feels that same thing. Can you start by making a “She, confident” statement, jotting it down somewhere you’ll see it often, and just make an effort to bat down that negative head talk?

  5. Wow! Just wow thank you are you inside my head on some of this! I know exactly how you feel everywhere I go I feel lost in a crowd and I feel like no one cares or even sees me or would even miss me ! I fight with my inner voice all the time, now I’m a preachers wife as well so Im forced to talk to strangers forced to live in a glass box forced to fight Satan at every turn very very hard and especially be mostly sole responsible parent for special needs child !! Lost me in all this lost my voice !! Thanks for knowing I’m not alone !! We’re all really good at pretending everything is great and putting on that perfect persona but dying on the inside!!

  6. I love your blog. It’s like being right there with you and you’re in my head too. Looking forward to more.

  7. I Love Love Love this!! I love the writer more!! She has inspired me and lifted me up so many times. A true friend she is. Here’s mine ….. She, confident that God has my back and things are going to get better.

  8. Love it Mindy! You are really amazing & you are such an inspiration to so many people. You are very blessed & loved by many. Cant wait to read your next blog, She, Confident!😘

  9. Love this!! What a way to give us women that boost we all need sometimes!! I was born and raised in south MS lived there for 34 years, last year my husband was transferred with his job (upon request)to Lindale, Texas; we absolutely love it here and never want to move back to MS, but making a friend over here has been extremely hard! So here it is, She, confident in her ability to make new friends, will start building her horseshoe with other women in Lindale!! 🤗

    1. Reality check for me! Someone once told me many of times it takes 21 days to form a habit! I am starting today with adding the She, confident… to my daily thinking. Even though this girl has overcame a lot, she’s been struggling in her own lack of confidence here lately and just realizing that’s what been holding her back. Thank you & Love you! 😘

  10. I’m so glad you explained the name. I liked it, but now it’s the perfect daily fill in the blank mantra. This is all so helpful, so thank you for sharing what’s helped you in a way that’s so helpful to us!

  11. This speaks so much to my heart and I hate feeling left out and find it hard to jump in with people I don’t know

  12. I’ve been thinking about myself lately and what I need to do to over come my fears and hurdles. Thanks for starting this new inspiration.

  13. I feel like I know exactly what you mean! I feel like I let my inner voice win sometimes knowing it’s not the truth! I’m working on opening up and being a better stronger me!

  14. She, Confident …..
    Encouraging, uplifting, positive.
    Really enjoying the posts but this is so true.

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