B.B. (my dear husband) and I were talking about the blog project last night- where I see it going, what I hope to accomplish etc. etc. and he was like “Ok, what’s with the name? Why ‘She-comma-confident?’ What does that mean?”
It’s easy to read as “She Confident” like in the “Yeah GIRL she has a LOT of confidence- SHE CON-FI-DENT!” (I hope you read that with the same tone in your head as I did when I typed it.) That’s a really good statement and while it would make a great blog title, that’s not really what I mean.
She, confident is the beginning of your new mantra. Or, at least it’s the beginning of mine. It’s meant to be a fill in the blank situation to help me tackle anything head on with a belief in my skills, my voice, my strength, my heart – whatever confidence the situation warrants.
Here’s a few examples:
- She, confident in her abilities, set out to conquer the world.
- She, confident in her endurance and strength, began training for the marathon.
- She, confident in her voice, stood up for what she knew was the truth.
- She, confident in her intuition, removed herself from a potentially dangerous situation.
One of my biggest obstacles in my quest for confidence is self-talk- that inner dialogue we have with ourselves day in and day out- even sometimes while we are asleep. My “inner voice.” I have become very aware of my inner voice sometime over the last year and have been making a conscious effort to move it from the doubt, fear, shame, and negativity that is so easy to fall into over to confidence, self-worth, loving kindness, and all of that good stuff. I’m still so much a work in progress that I believe the stage I’m in right now is trying to hear the inner voice that is shouting the loudest!
Throughout the course of the day my inner voice may say things like “I have really no clue what I’m talking about- why would anyone be interested in what I have to say” and then replying “That’s not true! You have so much real-life experience!” and then later “Maybe I should have taken some college courses for business, or marketing, or SOMETHING to make my voice matter and be heard in the business world” and then “Girl, you have been an entrepreneur your entire adult life. You own and run daily a skincare and cosmetics franchise that over the last 7 years has been responsible for over 4 million dollars in sales! That doesn’t happen by accident.” Add in all the stuff about parenting, health, marriage, and friendship- my head is a pretty noisy place to be.
Approaching every negative that pops up with a “She, confident” statement helps to flip my self-talk script, and I’m thinking it can help you too.
We’ve all heard the term “Fake it til you make it!” and when it comes to confidence I truly believe we can make this work. Yesterday I had a Facebook friend comment on a Glennon Doyle quote I shared about friends forming a horseshoe instead of a circle to be more inviting to outsiders. She said that she had recently attended a yoga event solo and had felt like an outcast. I feel ya, girl. I like to refer to myself as an introverted extrovert, so I can totally see me in that situation. Yes, I will go to the yoga event solo, but yes I will feel alienated and outcast while there because I won’t attempt to insert myself into a crowd that obviously already knows each other and are totally comfortable with each other. While, ideally, everyone would already know Doyle’s horseshoe idea and we could just shout “HORSESHOE!!” when we felt excluded by a tight circle- that would probably just make us look like a weird-o. What if, instead, we said through self-talk, “She, confident in her charisma, approached the yogis and started a conversation.” BAM! Half a dozen new yoga friends.
I’ve never been much of a writer, so I do hope this makes sense. Wait, nevermind. She, confident in her own voice, posted an amazing blog and inspired others to speak more confidence into their own lives.
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