Speak Up and Make New Friends

A She, Confident challenge

A few weeks ago, my daughter was invited to play in a softball tournament with a team she had never played with before.  I was super proud of how she jumped right at the opportunity when it was presented to her, without a second thought even though she knew she may not know anyone well on the team.

She was only asked to play a day or two ahead of the tournament, so she didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on it but the morning of I could tell she was getting a little nervous.  After we arrived at the field and she got changed into her uniform the butterflies in her stomach became obvious. 

Hanging around beside me before warm-ups instead of stepping into the circle of teammates standing nearby I could literally feel her self-confidence waning. If she was going to get in the right headspace for the game, she was going to have to get in that circle of teammates and be a part of the action.  I grabbed her hand, drug her over to the girls, introduced her and walked away.  As a result she had a great day with her new friends, but she had to have that ‘shove’ from me

Two friends holding hands and a Dale Carengie Quote.

The thing is, everyone was nice and kind and excited she was there.  The coaches were awesome.  The girls were a fun group.  Heck, I even made a couple of new friends amongst the moms.  Imagine if she had stayed inside her head and outside the circle. 

How often do we keep ourselves out, friends? I’ve noticed lately as I’ve been building the She, Confident Community that I am inserting myself into circles more. Speaking to more people intentionally rather than just a quick smile and nod. And I am LIVING FOR IT! It feels so good to no longer assume that people don’t want to talk to me, aren’t interested in making new friends, or will think I’m a weirdo for stepping into their bubble.

Let’s work on it.

Since we’re in a new month- it seems like a great time for a challenge.  Can you step out of your comfort zone this month, be willing to make a new friend?  Stop prejudging other people and what they will think of you.  You’re actually pretty cool and bring a lot to the table.  Don’t do anyone the disservice of not getting to know you better. So, here’s what I want you to practice:

  1. When you’re tempted to smile and wave, speak instead.
  2. If you see a familiar face in the grocery store, don’t zoom to the next aisle avoiding eye contact. (We all do it, friends.) Speak.
  3. If you see something you admire about someone, tell them.  Shoes, hair, smile, courage.  Speak.
  4. If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t know anyone, don’t keep people at arm’s length.  Strike up a conversation.  Speak.

Basically, just speak.  Use your words.  Shine your light and also step into the light that others around you are shining. 

Looking for a sure-fire way to make some new friends? Join the She, Confident Community by visiting our Facebook page or requesting to join our online community.

She, confident in her charm and charisma, made a whole lot of new friends this month.

2 thoughts on “Speak Up and Make New Friends

  • Another great blog Mindy. Trust me I don’t have a problem approaching people. I always say, if it moves I talk to it. LOL. My kids would always say, Mom doyou have to talk to everyone. Yes, I do.
    Although, I thought I might have to be careful not to talk about me, but learn more about them.
    Thanks again Mindy and look forward to your next blog. Marie

  • I need to work on this. So many times when trying to make conversation or just be friendly I have been cut off or pushed out of the circle. So, I’ve become really good at just standing on the outside smiling. And found it easier to just not even try. But, now I am learning that those “circles “ are not my people. My people care about me and are interested in what I have to say. Anyway, make a horseshoe and let everyone feel special.

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