Three steps to taking control of your future through self-confidence.
What do you want? Seriously. What do you really, really want? Peace? Stability? Calm? Control? Freedom? Money? Figuring this out gives you direction in taking control of your future.
Now, what is keeping you from having it? This is the point where we could all make a long list of the things and people who are standing in our way.
You want more peace, but your spouse just doesn’t understand you. You’d have more peace if your children were better behaved.
You don’t have control because you have a boss you must report to every day. If you made more money to contribute to the household, then you would have more control.
We must stop with the excuses if we are ever going to have the thing that we really want. We have got to start facing problems head on, admitting them, and working every single day to move forward.
Here is what the real problem is. We don’t believe in ourselves enough and we aren’t confident in our ability to change the trajectory of our lives. We are full of doubt, we are playing small, we are being too humble or proud to ask for help.
Repeat after me: She, confident in her own self-worth and believeing in her talents and abilities, took control of her future.
In the past I spent a lot of time waiting to be validated by other people. Do you do that? I only had a good idea if someone praised it. I only looked pretty if someone said it. My point was only valid if someone was nodding in agreement. These are pretty difficult things for me to admit to, but here I am putting it all in print. Can you relate?
Maybe you’re waiting right now for something to change about you, so you can fully feel good about yourself. Maybe you’re waiting to lose 10 pounds to feel like you’re OK, or maybe you you’re waiting for your hair to grow a little longer. Perhaps you’re waiting to speak up or start something new until you can go back to college and get a degree in something, so you will have the education to back up your opinion.
Here’s the deal, though: You are just fine, just the way that you are right now. There is not a single thing you should change about yourself. Realizing you are just fine the way you are is Step 1 in growing more confident.
So, what’s Step 2 in taking control of your future? Knowing that your voice matters.
One of the most frustrating things for me is when I give my opinion and it’s not taken into consideration or even discredited. Another frustrating thing is being told no. Yep, I’m one of those people. I do not like to be told no. If you tell me no, you better have a good reason, and sometimes even if you do I’m still going to hold a little grudge. I am who I am. Part of that comes from pride, but a lot of it is that it feels embarrassing. When my opinion isn’t well received, it feels like a little slice in my self-confidence — a paper cut of humiliation. Maybe you don’t speak up in the first place out of fear of saying the wrong thing.
Here’s a truth bomb for you. You have valid thoughts. Your opinion matters. The world not only needs but deserves to hear your voice. Your life experience makes you an expert. Own it.
Finally, you can do anything you are willing to go towards 100%. If you’re going to do it, do it right.
Confidence is built in accomplishment. So, where do you start if you don’t feel confident to accomplish all the desires of your heart?
Lower your first goal. Seriously. Lower it. Start with a goal you think feels “easy.” Accomplish it. Then go a bit higher, feeling the confidence from achieving the last one.
It is OK to have multiple goals — in fact, it’s important. Setting small goals and accomplishing them gives you momentum to do something bigger. Losing 50 pounds starts with losing 5. Pursuing your dream of becoming a registered nurse starts with passing your prerequisites at the community college. Running a marathon begins with you not passing out in a 5k.
What lines up with your values, your desires, your beliefs? Is there something right now that you truly want? Whatever it is that is warming you up right now, you gotta pursue it. No one can do you better than you do. You just must decide and go all in.
Write it down, y’all. Step 3: You can do anything you’re willing to go toward 100%.
We’re having a great time connecting and building friendships over in the She, Confident Community on Facebook. We’d love to have you join us. Find a link to the group here She, Confident Site on FB