She, confident…

                B.B. (my dear husband) and I were talking about the blog project last night- where I see it going, what I hope to accomplish etc. etc. and he was like “Ok, what’s with the name? Why ‘She-comma-confident?’  What does that mean?”

            It’s easy to read as “She Confident” like in the “Yeah GIRL she has a LOT of confidence- SHE CON-FI-DENT!” (I hope you read that with the same tone in your head as I did when I typed it.) That’s a really good statement and while it would make a great blog title, that’s not really what I mean.

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Born for This

A She, Confident Update

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wasn’t the kid who was born knowing I wanted to be a doctor (ew, blood) or a lawyer (big words were boring.  Judiciary? Nah.) or even a schoolteacher- I didn’t even like babysitting so I couldn’t imagine overseeing that many kids all day every day.  The weird thing is, I have always known though, deep down, that I was designed to do big things and make an impact on people’s lives.  I just wasn’t sure how.

I wrote a few weeks ago about how I landed in the line of work I’m currently in.  I always joke that it was by accident, being in the right place at the right time.  One evening I went to a makeup party determined to just buy a lip gloss and left stepping into a career that has been everything to me and my family for the past 15 years!  I have a secret though.  I’m not exactly obsessed with skincare and cosmetics.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love the products my company produces and I am so blessed to be able to be associated with this company.  I don’t use anything else and I’m ending my 30’s soon wrinkle free and wearing my favorite lipstick.  I’ve seen it transform people’s skin.  But that’s not really what I have built my career on. 

I fully believe that all these years traveling and talking to mostly women about the right skincare regimen and even more importantly helping other women begin their careers with our company has been the secret to my success so far.  What has kept me going all these years has been the people I have been able to connect with and in turn help feel seen, important, sometimes unstoppable, and hopefully more confident in themselves. 

Life is funny.  Just when you get comfortable and think you have it all figured out, something changes and turns it all over on the floor for you to pick up and sort out in a different way.  I started She, Confident almost five months ago in a desperate attempt to pull myself out of a funk the only way I knew how.  Helping women, having an impact on their lives, making them see their self-worth, find their self-confidence, becoming more self-assured was like a B12 shot right in the hip when my energy was being drained by a lot of technical difficulty and desk work that comes on the other side of running our business. I thought I’d write some blog posts, maybe start a little Facebook group, and quite honestly I wasn’t really sure anyone would pay attention or want to join.

You can do more than you think you can do!

Here’s what I’ve found out.  There were women waiting for me to get started.  Hundreds of women, in fact.  They were out there, observing others, never really feeling a part of anything.  Women were feeling intimidated by each other.  Many were feeling judged by each other, not worthy.  They weren’t realizing that the woman they saw everyday at the school, or on Sundays at church, or even right in their office weren’t in fact judging them but feeling the very same thing!  I get messages every other day thanking me for just shining a light in the dark little corners we all tend to hide away in.  I’ve been bringing everyone out into the light where they can join hands with the other women in their community to walk in the sunshine.

Speaking of sunshine, I went to Rise Business Conference in Charleston this weekend that I plan to write more about later.  I was privileged to be able to stay downtown for a few days with some friends who attended with me after the conference was over.  We were walking down the sidewalk in the French Quarter and it was a beautiful day.  Taking a moment just to be grateful and appreciate where I was, I noticed that it felt like the warmth of the sun was centered right over my heart.  I realized right then that that’s exactly how my She, Confident Community makes me feel. 

I’m 38 years old and so stinking excited about the future.  Starting something new has made all of the difference.  I’m reenergized and hyper focused on building my skincare business bigger than it’s ever been and at the same time have so many ideas swirling around in my head about the direction I want to take She, Confident in.  At the conference I picked up a sticker in the gift shop to slap on my water bottle.  It simply says “You can do more than you think you can do!” I believe it and if I can you can too.  Get out there and chase your big idea.

Mindy Boyd is the president of Aloette Skincare and Cosmetics in Mississippi/Arkansas and the founder of SheConfidentSite.com.  She, Confident is  a platform speaking self-confidence and encouraging love and support and friendship building amongst women across North America.Mindy lives in Pricedale with her husband Blake and their two children.

Small Steps are the Keys to Improve Health

This past week I went to RISE Business Conference in Charleston, SC.  I’m not sure exactly what I was expecting, but what I got was a swift kick in the booty to get out there and just be myself- my true, authentic, kind, helpful, caring but shoot it straight self.  It was three big days of inspiring, motivating content plus practical business ideas from freaking awesome people like Rachel Hollis, Ed Mylett, Brendon Burchard, Dave Hollis, Amy Porterfield…. The list literally goes on and on and I have SO MANY things I want to share with you all that I carried away from this experience. I’ll start here.

One of the biggest takeaways from the weekend was the fact that your health is your wealth.  As Rachel Hollis put it, “If your body doesn’t work, nothing else does.”  There are so many different aspects that can be wrapped up in the big blanket of health.  There’s physical health, mental health, emotional health.  There’s diet, and exercise, and therapy and eating for your body type and figuring out how to use gym equipment and how often you should work out and should you eat a lot of fat or no fat or a little fat…. Should you eat beans?! What are you supposed to eat? And how often? And who decides?! Wait, I’m spiraling. 

The point I’m trying to make is this- when we start thinking about taking care of our health it can get really overwhelming to even begin thinking about how to get started so many of us don’t get started at all.  Have you ever felt this way?  Maybe you have achy joints and your pants don’t quite fit anymore plus also you’re still carrying around some emotional baggage from the past as well dealing with a chemical imbalance in your brain resulting in a little depression.  You’re certainly in no shape to go (forgive me, I have no better expression here) ‘balls to the wall’ trying to improve it all, all at one time. 

I have some practical tips here for you to just get started.

  1. Move your body.  Move it every day but move it with intention at least 4 times a week.  On the daily, can you park a few spaces farther from the grocery store or walk up the two flights of steps to your office instead of taking the elevator.  Four times a week, just take it up a notch.  No, you don’t have to join a gym. Go outside, walk around in a loop for thirty minutes.  Boom.  Intentional movement.  Feeling frisky? Go walk up the bleachers at a local high school stadium.  Little things first.
  2. Eliminate one thing- and only one thing- from your daily food intake.  Not broccoli.  It can be coffee creamer, or cheese, or diet coke, or leftover Halloween candy.  Pull something out and keep it out for like a week.  Then, stretch it to two weeks.  Keep it out for four weeks and then eliminate something else.  Be sure as you are eliminating things you’re upping your water intake.  Hydrate when you get a craving for that DC or mini snickers.  It’ll pass.
  3. Meditate.  I mean it.  Meditate.  Did I just lose you? “Oh, Mindy’s fallen off into the hippy dippy deep end.” It’s not like that.  Just take ten minutes a day to get quiet, sit still, plant your feet, relax your shoulders, and just breathe. That’s all there is to it.  You can even download an app on your phone to guide you through those few minutes if you have trouble calming your racing thoughts.  I absolutely love the Calm app (the first five to click that link get a free 30-day guest pass.)  You can find it in app store on your iPhone and I’m sure somewhere else on those other phones…. I’m not techy, I’m sure it’s there.

That’s it, y’all.  Three things.  Great things sometimes start small.  The overwhelming feeling of never being able to do it all and do it all at one time often holds us back from doing anything.  The cool thing is, just making these few changes first may just leave you feeling like you can take on the world at the end of month one. 

Are you willing to try this for a month?  I’d love to hear from you! Let me know the three little changes you can commit to making work for you.  Small things add up to greatness, friends.  I’m confident.

An Ode to my B.B.

My husband Blake and I have been together for 20 years in 2020 and will celebrate our 20th high school reunion in the spring. We weren’t exactly high school sweethearts, in fact we only got together because we had both been, for lack of a better word, dumped shortly before our senior prom. It was convenient. It didn’t hurt that I had pegged him as the cutest boy at the school on my first day as a new student my junior year. Our prom date was carefully orchestrated by our friend group right down to voting us king and queen and we’ve been inseparable every since.

Here in southern MS it’s not rare to get married young, but it is increasingly rare to make it through the first few years. Reflecting on the past 18 years of marriage I’ve tried to pin point how we’ve been able to hang in for so long. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

First of all, he’s a good person and I really love him a lot. I got lucky. I know everyone isn’t lucky and everyone isn’t good people. I’ll never sit in judgement of anyone doing what they need to do for their personal health and well being. So, I got lucky I picked a good one. But, I cannot chalk the entire two decades up to luck. We work hard, we don’t give up, and we’ve realized that nothing bad ever lasts very long for us and we’re better facing things together.

Blake and I know our strengths and weaknesses and have learned to work that to our advantage. He’s an excellent cook. Like, 5 stars every day regardless of if he’s cooking jambalaya or rack of lamb. Everything he cooks is delicious. Me, on the other hand, not so much. The running joke at our house is that every recipe I try out always turns out tasting and looking like the exact same thing. Chicken and broccoli. Always chicken and broccoli. So, he cooks 99% of the the time. We don’t get hung up on the fact that he does the majority of that chore or that perhaps I should do some cooking since I’m the ‘lady of the house.’ Neither of us are very organized or enjoy cleaning so we outsource most of that and that works for us as well.

We also run a business together that requires a lot more of my time, energy, and focus than his most days. We haven’t always worked together but now that we do we have to be really intentional about not ‘talking shop’ all of the time. Between focusing on our two kids and our business it would be easy to forget to just be a couple every once in a while. We do love to travel and that’s something we enjoy doing together. We make it a point to head out of town for a night or a week a few times a year but it’s what we do in the meantime that matters just as much. Recently we plowed through 6 seasons of The Blacklist on Netflix. Just something simple as a show to watch together at night time keeps us connected and gives us something new to discuss other than work or the kids or whatever.

I honestly think the most important things that keeps our relationship healthy is that we just respect each other and encourage each other to fearlessly pursue our dreams. Recently I’ve been inspired to create an online community for women to build friendships, self worth, and confidence. He applied to trademark She, Confident within days of me sharing my ideas with him. There are things Blake likes to do as well, most recently pork rinds and lavender farming. I say fry on, B.B. and plant that lavender one row at a
time til you get it right.

Things haven’t always been easy for us. He’s seen me at my best and loved me through my worst. I’m certain there are more trials to come but there’s not anyone else I’d rather face them with than him.

Hello Out There!

Hi! Just checking in with my friends. I knew going into October that life would get hectic, I just didn’t realize HOW hectic.

I’ve been traveling a bunch for work, keeping up with my kiddos and planning our very first live She, Confident Community meet-up.

Between all of that and honestly not feeling fantastic, writing has not only taken a back seat but it appears to have gotten put in the trunk and forgotten like last week’s gym bag or a jar of peanut butter that rolled out of a grocery bag.

There are things to write about. Also, I found a cup holder on Amazon that has totally changed my life. I want to tell y’all about that soon…

I miss writing and I’m coming back! This is me just letting you know I’m still over here fogging a mirror. More to come. I’m confident.

Random Acts of Kindness

Turning Chicken Salad into Concert Tickets.

I’ve always been a firm supporter of a good random act of kindness. Day to day life around my house is usually pretty hectic. Between shuttling the kids where they need to be, working to build and grow my beauty business, taking care of my doggies and our home it’s always so refreshing to me to stop thinking of myself or my family or my stress for a moment and just do something nice for someone else. Admittedly I don’t practice full fledged random acts of kindness as often as I’d like but I like to think in general I usually go out of my way to make people feel good.

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Check it.

Things that matter:

Love

Music

The family you love and that loves you back

Good food

Moving your body and treating it well

Taking your vitamins

Things that do not matter:

Opinions that make you feel like poo.

Social Media arguments

The current force of gravitational pull on your body mass resulting in a number on a scale.

The end.

Saying YES to a New Career

I will say yes to all good things that come my way.

15 years ago, at 22 years old, I was working in a snowball stand. If you’re from anywhere other than the south, think Sno-Cone. It was my snowball stand, but a snowball stand just the same. Having already been married for two years, and having walked out of a “good” job that kept me in a constant state of anxiety, I had opened the stand to make a little money before I could figure out my next move career-wise.

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What if?

What if instead of averting our eyes, we locked eyes and smiled?

What if instead of a quick wave and a dash in the grocery store, we just said “Hey girl! What’s up?”

Instead of assuming she has it all under control, what if we asked if we could help her out?

Send a surprise gift to the person you think has it all and has it all together. 

Grab a box off the top if she’s carrying a stack.

Ask her how she’s doing, and then listen.

Does she look amazing in her new social media picture, or better yet in real life?  You should for sure tell her. 

What if everything we admire in someone else, we told them?

What would happen if we started making an honest effort, every single day, to be a friend, to make a friend?

I can tell you.  Magic happens.

Tension releases, confidence grows.  Burdens lift.  Circles of influence turn into horseshoes of inclusion.  Life may not instantly get easier when you have more girlfriends, but it does get more meaningful. 

Are you a current member of the She, Confident Community? How is it having an impact on your life? I’d love to hear about your new perspective on female friendships! Leave a comment.

Eliminating Chemically Processed Foods

You feel the way you do because you eat the way you do.  I’m thinking of having this tattooed on my arm.  Right down my forearm so every time I dig into a bag of chips (plain Lay’s are my favorite) or a bag of peanut M&M’s I will be reminded that I’ve walked this road before and it’s a downhill jog to feeling terrible.  Joint pain, inflammation, bloating, tiredness, hormonal changes, insomnia, acne, weight gain- all of these are things that I have discovered are directly connected to what I’m consuming.  It’s not just me.  Consuming chemically processed foods is bad for all of us. 

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